America the Grump: A Donald Trump/Green Eggs and Ham Parody

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Since today the Super Tuesday results have collided with Dr. Seuss's birthday, this poem has been rattling around in my brain. My sincerest apologies to Dr. Seuss and the Geisel family for the association.

America the Grump!
America the Grump!
What is happening to
America the Grump?

Do you like Donald J. Trump?

I do not like him,
America the Grump.
I do not like Donald J. Trump.

Would you like him big and tall?
Would you like him with a wall?

I would not like him big and tall.
I would not like him with a wall.
I do not like Donald J. Trump.
I do not like him, America the Grump.

Would you like him ignoring vets?
Would you like him frequently in debt?

I would not like him ignoring vets.
I would not like him frequently in debt.
I do not like him big and tall.
I do not like him with a wall.
I do not like Donald J. Trump.
I do not like him, America the Grump.

Would you like him with a fluffy hairdo?
Would you like him threatening to sue?

I would not, could not with a fluffy hairdo.
I would not, could not threatening to sue.
I do not like him ignoring vets.
I do not like him frequently in debt.
I do not like him big and tall.
I do not like him with a wall.
I do not like Donald J. Trump.
I do not like him, America the Grump.

Would you like him with his words?
Do you like the words you’ve heard?

I would not, could not with his words.
I do not like the words I’ve heard.
I do not like his fluffy hairdo.
I do not like him threatening to sue.
I do not like him ignoring vets.
I do not like him frequently in debt.
I do not like him big and tall.
I do not like him with a wall.
I do not like Donald J. Trump.
I do not like him, America the Grump.

In a debate!
Doing great!
Surely you just cannot wait!

I can wait for his debate.
I do not see him doing great.
I do not like his fluffy hairdo.
I do not like him threatening to sue.
I do not like him ignoring vets.
I do not like him frequently in debt.
I do not like him big and tall.
I do not like him with a wall.
I do not like Donald J. Trump.
I do not like him, America the Grump.

He lies! He lies! He lies! He lies!
Could you, would you, when he lies?

I would not, could not, if he lies.

With a new bride! With a new bride!
Surely with a new bride by his side!

I would not, could not with a new bride.
I would not, could not when he lies.
I do not like him in a debate.
I do not see him doing great.
I do not like his fluffy hairdo.
I do not like him threatening to sue.
I do not like him ignoring vets.
I do not like him frequently in debt.
I do not like him big and tall.
I do not like him with a wall.
I do not like Donald J. Trump.
I do not like him, America the Grump.

You do not like him.
So you say.
Try him! Try him!
And you may.
I guess he bests the rest, I say.

America!
You cannot “try” a chief
and hope he will be
all you want him to be.

Our president is in office for four long years.
We can’t check a box based on feelings or fears.
He is not equipped; he changes his mind
At the shift of the wind or the flip of a dime.
He has no positions, no definite plans
Just a long list of things he can’t actually ban.
He can’t work with people, he’s always a hater.
He’s great if you want an American dictator.
I understand your anger; I feel it too.
But that does not make electing him the right thing to do.

America the Grump!
America the Grump!
I do not like Donald J. Trump.
Please do not vote for him, America the Grump.